Monday, February 11, 2008
Confessions of a Late-Night Cover-Stealer
I am a cover stealer. I steal the covers in the middle of the night, right after you've made yourself perfectly comfortable and planned against whatever temperature drops might be expected. And I'm good at it, too. My best technique is stealing only the sheet, while the blankets on top remain unmoved, so that if you wake up and feel cold and look around you'll think all the covers are in place, while I am wrapped up in the entire sheet. I've also perfected stealing the middle cover. This one's a little more difficult and has taken some time to learn. I'll steal both the sheet and the blanket under the comforter and then when you wake and demand back the covers, I'll only hand back the sheet, leaving an extra layer of covers over my greedy body.
And the best part is that if you were to decry me a thief, I can always respond that I was asleep, apologize profusely, and use my sleepy puppy-dog eyes. There are few crafts that can be perfected while one is completely unconscious, but I have mastered this illustrious art. So sleep. Close your eyes and relax. No amount of pre-planning will keep safe your covers. No my-side/your-side technique will stay me. Nay, I will not stop short of victory: the covers, all of them, will be mine! I AM UNSTOPPABLE!
...oh, come on baby, you don't really want me to sleep on the couch, do you?
And the best part is that if you were to decry me a thief, I can always respond that I was asleep, apologize profusely, and use my sleepy puppy-dog eyes. There are few crafts that can be perfected while one is completely unconscious, but I have mastered this illustrious art. So sleep. Close your eyes and relax. No amount of pre-planning will keep safe your covers. No my-side/your-side technique will stay me. Nay, I will not stop short of victory: the covers, all of them, will be mine! I AM UNSTOPPABLE!
...oh, come on baby, you don't really want me to sleep on the couch, do you?
# posted by Adam @ 8:40 AM 
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Confessions of a once blanketless wife
Jason is also a cover stealer, so we bought a king sized comforter and sheets. This helps but does not solve the problem.
My sisters beau is also a cover stealer, they bought two full sized comforters so they each have their own, this works for them.
And sometimes, when he is sleeping, and has alligator rolled the covers off me... I poke him. Its a small bit of satisfaction... watch out for poking fingers!
Jason is also a cover stealer, so we bought a king sized comforter and sheets. This helps but does not solve the problem.
My sisters beau is also a cover stealer, they bought two full sized comforters so they each have their own, this works for them.
And sometimes, when he is sleeping, and has alligator rolled the covers off me... I poke him. Its a small bit of satisfaction... watch out for poking fingers!
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! I'm trying not to be discovered cackling in my cubicle as I read this. Crystal describes it perfectly - "alligator roll". I know because I am also a consummate coverstealer :) It's funny about the sheet versus comforter stealing. I can very easily take both, but it usually comes in layers and the sheet gets cocooned first. This is what bothers Andy the most. He usually pushes the comforter off oh him onto me when he gets hot. I do not like this because the combined weight of comforter and cats slides the entire comforter off the bed. I get him back though because he does not realize until it is too late that I have appropriated all of the sheet. Hehehe say that with a french accent. Oh man it's going to be one of those days.
This is funny, Adam...I find with Ben, if I just bow up and snuggle in, the covers work themselves back out, and over, me...(of course, there is a little tugging on my part).
Thanks for keeping your blog updated, I just sent an e-mail to your mother-in-law, that she and your wife need to do the same...makes it worth checkin' in!
Love and peaces, (even to Jack),kt.
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Thanks for keeping your blog updated, I just sent an e-mail to your mother-in-law, that she and your wife need to do the same...makes it worth checkin' in!
Love and peaces, (even to Jack),kt.
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