Once upon a hoopty...

John Ritter is dead? I ask myself. I speak the words aloud in shock as if he were a close friend. I feel betrayed by the world for taking someone like that away from me and not telling me about it. Then I look at the date: 2003. Oh. I was gone. It happened during that time when I had left the world to fend for itself while I went to live abroad for 2 1/2 years. I can't believe I've been back 10 months now and there are still things that surprise me. I expect for people to have in-jokes that started during that time. I did too. I expect for people to refer to commercials that aired during that time.

When i was at debrief in may, two guys who had been living in Africa went to youtube (the first I had ever heard of it) to watch the big basketball brawl that happened while we were gone. A lot happened while we were gone. And the worst is things that are now gone for good. Relationships that were passionate when I left are non-existent. My Grandpa passed away...and his wife behaved in such a way afterward that she's kind of on outs with the rest of the family. I can't believe he's gone. My friend Ashley Jones sings "Everything is different now...and it's okay." I guess it's okay, but it doesn't always feel like it is.

I have joy in the everyday, don't get me wrong. It just always comes as a shock to realize that something you thought you had was taken from you years ago.

I didn't know you were gone, John. Rest in peace.