Once upon a hoopty...

Before getting into anything, I find it funny that blogging, for me, varies from having intellectual conversations with myself about life and God and politics to bearing my soul in my inner, personal struggles. As shallow as it may sound, i feel like the following falls under the latter category.

So. It all comes to this: Should I stay or should I go? There are good reasons to stay...and my supervisors are not below reminding me of them and tempting me with other paddings. The reasons to go home seem awfully personal in nature: I'm lonely, I miss things like Christmas, I miss being able to talk with people about things like music and literature. Of course I miss friends and family, and if I left here, I would too. I suppose when I write it all down, it seems logical to stay. But even then, for how long? I should've already made a decision to extend or re-sign up or whatever, but it seems so odd to make a decision about how much longer I want to stay without a clear reason one way or the other. I want to go home and I want to stay, and I suppose it makes the most sense to stay, as I don't have any direction upon going home. So, should I extend 6 months? extend 15 months? extend 6 months and then resign up for two more years putting me back in the states in January 2008?

I dawns on me that going home at whatever point, when I am done with my work here, is going to make me feel completely useless because no one is going to care about all that I know about Nicaragua and its people. I wish I was one to be able to tell random stories off the top of my head, on command, but I don't even do that well...so I won't even be able to appease the story-seekers when I return. Oh well, "sufficient unto the day...."