Once upon a hoopty...

While house-sitting for friends, I find myself with a weeny of a little dog. She's a cocker-spaniel/poodle mix and so she really can't help it. Whenever she comes inside the house (even when the family is here) she immediately heads for the couch so she can hide under it. They have to hit a stick against the floor behind the couch so that she'll come out. Yesterday, I was trying to catch her so that the guard could give her a bath, so I picked her up once I had found her. She, of course, peed on me. That was yesterday.

So, this morning, the guard comes and it's time to feed her. Well, I thought in the kindness of my heart that I would let her come inside (she looked so pitiful outside) earlier, so now I had to get her out. I nudged her out from the couch and instead hanging around and kind of moving toward the door like yesterday, she ran and hide under someone's bed, so I had to go chase after her, but not in a pursuing kind of way, so as to not encourage her to pee all over the house. I decided not to pick her up this time, but instead to pull her by the collar. This meant that I had to lower myself and kinda walk with my back all hunched over and my knees bent at weird angles. Not only that, but the dog decided that she was going to push (against the tile floor, and so wasn't having much luck) to keep from going with me. Well, of course, she starts choking herself and like all dogs, looks up at me like it's my fault. So, I had to slow down and give her little nudges behind her front paws so as to keep her moving without dragging her and also not overwhlem her obvious emotional problems. Once outside, I had to continue to lead her by the collar as she wouldn't respond to the guard's or my calls for her to go eat. Down the stairs and around the side of the house to the back we went. I then brought her to her food bowl. And it's not like it isn't the same food bowl she eats out of every day, but she gets scared again and won't touch the food. Well, the other dog is a german shepherd and so as soon as she's done eating her food, I'm sure she's going to come munch out of weeny dog's bowl, so I'm trying to hang around and control the situation, but the little dog just refuses to eat. I am exasperated. I can't think of anything to do other than stand there and wait and protect her food from the other dog. Finally the little dog leans her wee little head on my foot. I bend down and pet her and scratch her head, all very gently. What I really want to do at this point is pick her up by her collar and shake her a little, but I know deep within me that this will not help the situation, only making the dog more worried and therefore making me more angry. I can't very well hate her, and I really want her to have this food...she needs it. It's good for her. So after a few minutes of petting her and trying to make her feel calm, I grab the bowl and bring it over in front of us. And she picks up her head, walks over to it and starts to eat. At this point I was afraid to leave, not sure if the dog might perhaps bolt if I walk off.

So, as I'm standing there watching...and pretty much amazed, it suddenly hits me how perfect a metaphor this is for my relationship to God. I try to hide, I don't listen when He calls, I run from Him, I hate Him when I pull back from Him and it hurts, I don't accept what He offers, even though I need it to survive. I get to where I am so uncomfortable in my surroundings that I refuse to see the freedom and the grace that is right in front of me. But God is patient, He isn't quick to anger, trying to punish me everytime I turn from Him. He walks me to where I need to be and will stand by me and be my comfort when I am broken and unsure and afraid...and even when I am unwilling. And I'm sure that if I were God I would want to strangle my own little oblivious puppy self, but He doesn't. I am more than some small thing that exists to follow His commands, I am a most loved child and He knows great things that are in store for me and tries to show them to me, if only I will listen.